Imagine…all the people. Living life in peace…

Imagine, there’s a glowing ring in front of you. You jump in. After a WAAAAAAAAARRRRRRP, a ZOOOOOOOOOM, and a white light, you look around and see you’re in the year 2017. How would you know this, you ask? Everyone is playing with a fidget spinner, that’s how! They’re holding that knick-knack between their thumb and fingers and sending it spinning to infinity. It was like watching the top spin in Inception. It went on and on and on, because it was a dream. If you think about it, 2017 was like a dream.

Aw, Corey, you’re just being nostalgic! No, I am not. Fidget spinners weren’t only a commodity, they were a cornerstone in everyone’s social life. You see, back in 2017, I was doing a sales job. I went door-to-door in low-income communities selling energy. Yes, I know. I can already feel your judgemental stares through this computer screen. Bite me.

AND THE ONLY THING I EVER SOLD WAS MY SOUL!!!!!! T__T

Anyway, the job was the most social job I ever worked at. I’m as introverted as they come, and working in sales really brought out my extrovert (not only in the field but at the office). At the time, fidget spinners were as popular as Pokemon cards in 1998: You just HAD to have them. Otherwise get lost, loser.

Now, when I say I became an extrovert, I mean it. I was the guy who just said funny things. The tone of my voice combined with what I said/observed came across as organically funny to people. I don’t know, to be honest. I was just being myself when I have no inhibitions. One girl was playing with a spinner during one of our meetings and I quipped: “Who the fuck gave Lori a shuriken?!”

Everyone busted a gut laughing.

I brought in a camo-spinner once. “Look, it’s CAMO, man! You can’t even SEE it!!” Cue more laughter.

In retrospect, these jokes weren’t really funny. Context plays a major part in humor. But just having a fidget spinner got me out of my shell. All the hot girls in the office wanted to borrow it. It got them talking! To me! We let our spinners get around and if someone misplaced it somewhere, no big! Just go to Walmart and buy another for 10 bucks! It’s how like in middle school you were automatically cool if someone wanted what you had.

It was a great time to be alive. Now 3 years later, fidget spinners have been relegated to a fad from a bygone era. They probably faded faster than Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, if anyone thought that was possible. But it was something relatively cheap that started conversations and got people close to you. A huge plus if you’re a wallflower.

Fads and trends come and go but the need to bring people out of their shell will stay eternal. Maybe we don’t need toys. Maybe we just need a willingness to step outside comfort zones. Just imagine.

Imagine, all the people….yeah. Hit it, Mr. Lennon.

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