Yesterday, I was watching YouTuber Lana Blakely’s video about confidence and how we can develop it internally. Too often people focus on projecting confidence externally, to the point they’re faking it. What good is that, really?
If you could develop internal confidence, won’t the rest take care of itself? If you feel genuine internal confidence, won’t you also exude confidence without thinking of it? What’s the point in faking something if you don’t actually feel it? That mask can stay on for so long.
At the time of this writing, my comment on Lana’s video was the most-liked:
“Confidence is gained as you get older. You learn more about yourself and what you’re meant to do. You become okay with your shortcomings and weaknesses because they show you what your strengths are.”– The Great Lord Corey Toomey the First
You can’t cultivate genuine, unbreakable confidence without going through life’s journey. You need to go through hardships that will teach you what you’re made of. You need to learn what kind of person you are and what you’re meant to do in life. Once that moment comes, you will not care about your personal shortcomings anymore. Why should you? Your strengths are good enough!
Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days of your life are the day you’re born and the day you find out why.”
I believe it’s apt to use a more simplistic metaphor for the purpose of this blog (and explain the weird-ass title). Think of shapes: squares, triangles, and circles. All of us are born either a square, triangle, or circle. That part of us cannot change. You will always be either a square, triangle, or circle.
You with me so far? Okay, so here’s why a lot of people lag behind in life: they try to be a shape that they’re not. I’ve seen squares try to fit themselves through round or triangular-shaped holes (wow. this is unintentionally sliding into erotica, holy hell).
Obviously, squares can’t fit through holes that are not shaped like squares. When they get stuck, they start to question their worth. They start to get depressed. Instead of finding a hole they can fit through, they stare at the round hole so long they get swept into an emotional black hole, never to be seen again.
Let me tell you a story about yours truly: Like a lot of people, I was once a college student. College is the time of opportunities. You can learn about yourself by becoming part of clubs and so on. Well, one time I tried out for Student Government.
I volunteered for a special kind of election where candiates are selected by the SG reps themselves. All the candiates had to do was make an elevator pitch to them, and explain their platform. I thought that being in a position of influence on campus would be good for my personal development.
So without delving into it too much, I can tell you that my elevator pitch was god-awful, forced, and awkward. I remember standing in front of 20 different student reps and the looks on their faces as I stumbled through my speech. Needless to say, I was rejected.
That’s fine. Life goes on.
The point is, I was a square trying to fit through a round hole. I’m just not the interacting type. I’m also not a smooth talker, which is what you need to be if getting into politics. Sure, I embarrassed myself but I learned what I needed to learn from that experience: I’m an introvert and no matter how hard I try to hide that, people will see right through it.
I belong in content creation, because I keep to myself and use my creativity more often than the average person does. And you know what? That’s where my confidence is blooming from. And it feels freaking great.
I’m Corey Toomey. I’m a square! And I found my square-shaped hole!!! Time to sliiiiide innnn!!!!!! 😀
…So yeah, am I making myself clear here? And could we like, do away with the shape analogies? I mean, I’m talking about holes, what shapes they are, and sliding through said holes. It’s just getting weird.
So there you have it, folks! If you want to be confident, you need to find out what you are and what you’re not. You need to find something that comes naturally and is comfortable for you. If you try to be something you’re not, people will see through your facade and no one will validate you.