For some of you, the headline will get your hackles up. Before you throw me into the flaming pit of #cancelculture, hear me out. You owe it to yourself.
Today I found myself in two separate interactions on Twitter and Facebook. The topic, you guessed it, was polyamory: the practice of having multiple sexual partners. Because the idea of a healthy monogamous relationship is soooooo antiquated, right?
The mentioned Twitter interaction was a mere exchange of positions. No debate took place, despite the responder’s request for comment. I wasn’t interested in starting an argument on Twitter, where literally hundreds of people can get involved. The responder claimed that humans are capable of loving more than one person romantically. I, of course, do not agree with this notion.
The Facebook interaction, on the other hand, went on for quite a bit. I opined that the LGBT community should not go out of their way to endorse polyamory and polygamy, should that situation ever arise.
Obviously, I have no issue with LGBTs. However, there’s a tiny minority in the midst that is pushing for pedophilia-acceptance and to lower the age of consent, making it easier for adults to (legally) prey on minors.
To the LGBT Community’s credit, the vast majority doesn’t condone this push, and I applaud that. You may ask why I’m mentioning the community in relation to polyamory.
Since Stonewall, the LGBT Community has been pushing for societal acceptance of deviations from sexual and marital norms (as I pointed out in the Facebook status above). If polyamory becomes the topic being discussed at the national dinner table, it’s likely the LGBTs will swoop in and support those that want multiple sexual partners without anyone looking the other way.
I stated that polyamory should not be rendered illegal in the eyes of the law. Doing so is absolutely pointless. You can’t legislate morality. The Prohibitionists in the early 1900s had a great cause with even greater intentions. People observed the societal effect of alcohol being consumed with reckless abandon. They also witnessed and experienced the needless imprisonments and deaths the beverage caused.
Unfortunately, the movement didn’t take human nature into account. If people are scummy, they’re going to stay scummy. More laws embolden criminals. Al Capone would’ve been a no-name street thug if Prohibition never happened.
I’m getting off-topic, forgive me. When there’s an opportunity to give a history/civics lesson, I can’t resist!
As I was saying, polyamory should not be illegal (for practical reasons). It should also, however, not be socially acceptable. We gag at the idea of sharing our significant other with someone else, as we should. The mere thought of our girlfriends/boyfriends exchanging bodily fluids with someone else and coming back home to get in our bed? Yes, that’s disgusting.
Sleeping around diminishes the idea of love and commitment. Making love with your “true” romantic partner won’t mean anything anymore. To you, they’re just another face. Another notch in your bedpost. There is nothing that distinguishes them from the other people you’re copulating with. That special someone is not special anymore.
Once you reach that stage, what’s the point of maintaining the relationship? What’s the quality that makes it special? Sure, you can enjoy their company and have hour-long conversations with them, like you can with anybody else. But what’s the one variable that sets the relationship apart?
You may ask, “Why is it so important to maintain monogamy?”
As of right now, it’s bad enough that 42% of all divorce cases were the result of extramarital sexual contact. In the same APA study linked above, 80% of marriages involving secret infidelity ended in divorce. Revealed infidelity had a more modest 43%.
Noninfidelity marriages had a rate of only 23%.
Do we really want to push and encourage polyamory among today’s populace? Imagine what the divorce rates would look like in the future if we did.
(“Okay, but who cares? It’s just divorce…”)
In the scenario where the couple bore children, no…it’s not “just divorce”. To the child, you’re turning their whole life upside down.
Children growing up in divorce are more likely to develop anxiety and depression. It also becomes harder for the lone parent to discipline their child properly. Discipline/conditioning requires consistency. A lone parent already has too much on their plate: working, paying bills, getting errands done, etc. And NOW they have to enforce discipline?!
This is a topic that’s been studied extensively. There’s a wealth of research pointing to the negative effect divorce has on children. A simple Google search would verify this.
Our children deserve every advantage in life that we can afford them. Growing up surrounded by two monogamous parents is such an advantage.
(“Yeah, well…that’s just marriage. We’re talking about RELATIONSHIPS.”)
Yes, and what do marriages start off as? RELATIONSHIPS! Ding ding! A healthy relationship leads to a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage leads to healthy children.
(“This is about our rights. Who cares about the children?”)
Buddy, let me stop you right there: if you disregard the welfare of children, i.e. our most precious and vulnerable citizens…then I don’t know what else to say to you.
Except this: Polyamory is Fucking Disgusting.
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